12 DAYS in 2012

Meaningful days make a year special! Here are my 2012’s Top 12 Days and the priceless lessons I got:

January 16

God’s gift has His goodness stamped all over it!

(Started in the job I’ve long been waiting and praying for.)

February 1

Speak the truth and forgive…in love.

(Had a conversation that taught me a lot about myself, what love means, and how truth sets people free.)

March 3

When it is God’s will, even the impossible things just happen.

(Went on a work-related trip with a miraculously-healed eardrum!)

April 20

Provider, Healer, Comforter – God is all these and more!

(My brother was out of the hospital – healed from an almost fatal stab wound near his lungs.)

May 28

Trust the One who loves us the most and knows us the best.

(I had some questions answered that eventually gave me peace of mind and heart.)

June 13

God meets people where they are at.

(Heard touching stories of how Jesus revealed Himself to people who used to be clueless about who He is.)

July 13

Love is always stronger than fear.

(The sight of a beautiful rainbow made me endure a scarily turbulent flight from Hongkong to Manila)

August 6

A seemingly bad experience can actually be the start of something awesome.

(The monsoon rains got me stranded at my friends’ house. I went home with a new “sister and brother” I intend to keep for life.)

September 2

Find a job you love and your years will be fruitful and happy.

(Celebrated my 10^th year with World Vision)

October 11

It’s never too late to make a dream come true!

(Had my 31^st birthday at Jollibee!)

November 9

God has awesome ways of giving back to us what we learn to completely let go.

(Witnessed the most beautiful sunset amidst the rain after sadly thinking the sun has already set.)

December 25

A gift isn’t a gift when it costs us nothing.

(Gave the celebrant a costly gift that’s actually the best gift for myself, too.)

And I am so grateful to the people God has used to either teach me or learn these lessons with me. I may not be able to mention you here one by one, but as you read, you will surely know where you played an important part. THANK YOU SO MUCH  Praying for a more fruitful, grander, totally amazing 2013 for you  happy new season!!

YOU, not me. YOURS, not mine.

I have always wanted to write about “worship”. But each time I would try to start, I find it too-complicatedly-wonderful-a-topic that I would end up just writing about something else. I think it’s because I see myself as a lifelong student in this area and I still have so much to learn. So everything in here will just be a glimpse of what “worship” is.

WORSHIP.

It’s definitely more than singing songs beautifully. If it is, then my worship would frequently be out of tune. I love to sing but I don’t have a great singing voice (it will get better in time, I know, hehehe!).

It’s far beyond just uttering (or writing) dramatic words of adoration, honor and love for God. Anyone can say or craft heart-piercing statements or songs, but still be far from God.

In worship services, we raise our hands, bow our heads, cry our hearts out, or even kneel down at times. These feel great! But there’s certainly more to worship than those.

The melody, the words, the tears and the worshipful gestures can be great expressions of worship but they’re just like the tip of the iceberg. The unseen, a lot more difficult part is what it really is: self-denial, obedience, and the resolve to yield to God’s will and ways no matter the cost.

Worship says,

“YOU, not me.”

“YOURS, not mine.”

“YOU lead, I’ll follow.”

 “Do YOUR will, have YOUR way – wherever it brings me, whatever it takes, right now!”

We worship when our actions say, “It’s all about You, God, never about me. So even it will make me unpopular or will go contrary to what people expect of me, as long as it will please and honor You, I will do it.”

We worship when we choose His will over our own – even at the expense of our own desires, convenience, questions and conditions. That could mean giving up something (or someone) you hold so dear, being in a place you’re afraid to go to, humbly initiating the talk with a person you’ve been avoiding for so long, doing that thing that doesn’t just make sense, forgiving even if it feels more right to do otherwise, and the list goes on.

We worship when our lives showcase the astounding beauty and love of God – in the words we say, in the things we do, in the decisions we make, in the work of our hands, in the way we treat others.

True worship is difficult. And here’s my main point: We can only worship by the grace of God! We are only able to do it as God reveals who He is to us. It is God-initiated, God-sustained, and God-directed.

Worship is both a motivation and an expression (to obey, yield, step out, and trust). But for always, it’s all about Jesus – His beauty, His unfathomable goodness, His awesome power, His unfailing love, His unending kindness, His sovereign grace, all that He is and He will be to us. It is never about us and what we can do for God. We are able to worship because of who Jesus is. We are therefore given the grace, wisdom, courage, faith, hope and love to do everything that pleases God the most.

Even the melody, the words and the gestures are from and because of Him.

Worship. Only Jesus. Always Jesus.

“Because of Your unfailing love, I can enter your house; I will worship at your Temple with deepest awe.” Psalm 5:7

That Still Small Voice

What my ears hear,  

My heart knows well;

In silence, in calmness,

My soul can tell.

When worries try to steal,

The quiet confidence I feel--

I hear You, gentle yet so real,

In no time, all I am is still.

Darkness may seem to linger,

The path can be scarily bleak;

That voice will show the way,

Serene --never empty, never weak.

Battles tempt me, “Shrink back!”

Tears – yes they’re bound to fall;

I hear You, “The fight is mine--

Fear not, I already won it all!”

Higit pa sa Ulan

Bawat patak, tila nga mga nota,

Unti-unti, bumubuo ng musika;

Gaya ng mga pangarap sa umaga

Hatid nila’y maningning na pag-asa.

Lumalakas, humihina ang hangin,

Takot na dala’y sumisilip, nagpapapansin

Puso’y nagtatanong, may nais alamin

Iyon ba’y ‘di na dapat pang isipin?

Ulan ay tumila, katahimikan ang narinig,

Di maikakailang nagungusap Iyong tinig;

Pinapaalala nito, Ika’y nasa aking panig,

Higit na malakas sa ulan ang Iyong pag-ibig.

When I Grow Up, I Wanna Be Like a Grown-Up :)

Recently, we had a blast celebrating my nephew's first birthday at Jollibee! I enjoyed it a lot (maybe too much!) that I told my family that I would want a Jollibee birthday party for myself this year. I started calculating the cost and working on my guest list (I tell you, it was oh-so-difficult to keep it at 50 - made me feel grateful for my many friends, relatives and loved ones!).

I want a Jollibee birthday party this year to remind me that I am no longer a child but I can always be child-like and young at heart. Age tells me I'm growing old (ouch!) and I hope the experiences that come with the numbers have helped me grow up, too.

These are just some of the things I've learned a grown-up should be like (and sometimes I still see myself reverting back to childhood or my growing up years when I reflect on them):

1. You think less of yourself and what other people say about you. It's what you can still become, the grace to be grateful for who you are, and how you can enrich the lives of those around you that matter more.
2. You learn that love is not a feeling but a decision - a conscious will to be patient, kind, not envious, not proud, not self-seeking, not easily angered, and to forgive when wronged...that as long as you are loving, you will always have hope, you will keep trusting, and you will persevere. That's why, saying "I love You" comes with a great responsibility.
3. You realize what you truly value and align your every move accordingly: the person you'll marry, the friends you'll keep, the direction your career will have, and the way you spend your time. 
4. You gain more courage - not to do all things, but to do the things that are right - with love as the motivation (read number 2 again)
5. You enjoy the present but you live it with the future in mind because every decision and action you make at present contributes to shaping your future. You even go beyond the future for you know in your heart, you're meant to live forever. So you focus more on things that will matter in eternity.
6. You can let go of the past because you believe in the beauty of the future! You develop the ability to accept things even when they don't match your expectations because time and time again, life teaches you that not everything will go your way as you imagine it. But our confident assurance is that, God's will is good, pleasing and perfect! We can always be excited about tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow and all the tomorrows after that!
7. You ask yourself deep questions that enable you to genuinely know what you love doing, what you are designed to pour out your life on...and you feel the desire to pursue it. And pursue it, you will!
8. You are able to see and feel people's heart better. In your relationships, you want to go beyond the superficial - you want to learn what makes them happy, what makes them sad, what cheers them up, what excites them, what keeps them going, who they love and why, and many more about who they genuinely are!
9. You treasure the real riches - time, words, relationships, lessons learned, maturity, and above all, GOD. You know and experience that HE makes life truly life! And when the rubber hits the road, HE shows Himself more than enough! What a sweet way to be swept away! 

My list isn't very exhaustive..I'm still a student in the school of maturity. And most of the time, to grow up entails going through tough experiences. It is when you've been through something that hit you strongly (both happily or painfully) that you grow - maybe a bit..then a little bit more..then a little bit more..till you wake up one morning and you can tell yourself, you've somehow grown up.

Don't just grow old, grow up! 

When I grow up, I wanna be like a grown-up, but definitely someone who still finds partying with Jollibee soooo awesome :)

SELAH (Pause and Calmly Think)

I love Saturdays!

It’s usually one of the highlights of my week. It gives me more time to sleep in, rest, read, reflect, pray, write, or just hang around and wait for what the no-agenda day has in store for me: could be an unplanned date with friends, time to curl up with a book, a lazy day with my computer (facebooking, chatting, blogging), opportunity for baking and cooking experiments and for a bit of cleaning up, or could be a space to just enjoy the warmth and silence of home.

Saturdays mean rest for me.

But this week (while away from home on a work-related travel), I’ve been learning about a different kind of rest. One that does not just happen on a Saturday, but the kind that truly gives you a break any time of day and week!

Have you encountered the word, “selah”?  It’s actually a musical term that signifies a pause or an interlude. I have come across this word several times while reading the book of Psalms. I consulted Google and discovered more about it - Selah is to:

• stop and listen
• weigh and value
• hang
• worship (in Aramaic)
• break
• reflect and understand
• pause and calmly think of that! (as written in the Amplified Bible)

I have a very active mind. My imagination can go really out of control – to my disadvantage sometimes. I worry a lot – most often about things that are not true or never will be true. In a sense, my mind is noisy, thus making my heart restless. But this week, I’ve seen how my heart longs to have the Selah it needs:

To stop and listen. I’m here in busy and noisy Bangkok. But it’s such a sweet surprise to be having a meeting in a guest home that offers quiet rest amidst chirping birds and trees that make a rain-like sound. It’s so easy to ignore this nature-produced music, in the same way that we could miss God’s still small voice if we are not attentive. To hear Him, we need to quiet our minds and hearts and kill the nagging sound of worries, paranoia, fears, disappointments, and sadness. Then, really listen…and hear. He has so much to say.

To weigh and value. We make plans and life sometimes happens totally different from our hopes and expectations. How do we respond? To rest is to let every circumstance fade in the glowing light of God’s will. We measure our experiences against the weight of the wonderful plans that God has for us. Then, we realize that our momentary troubles mean nothing compared to the surpassing value of having God in our lives. His presence and promises far outweigh anything that this life could throw at us. We fix our eyes on Him. We rest our hearts in His and trust His good, pleasing and perfect will.

To hang and just worship. Have you been in situations that felt like you’re against the wall? You don’t know what to do. No more space for another step – it’s dead end! You’re left hanging. That’s a “selah moment”. While you’re there hanging and helpless, just worship. Think about who God has been, is and will be to you. Let go of the need to move and let God move mightily on your behalf. You’ll realize that being left hanging can be turned into restful waiting for God to intervene and remove you from where you are.

It’s Saturday today. I slept in, read a bit, reflected on my week, prayed, went online, and wrote this. This afternoon, I plan to go out, eat and shop. It will be noisy and crowded outside but I’ll keep my mind and my heart on Selah mode.

Rest happens in the heart in full trust, complete reliance and confident leaning upon the Lord. In our hearts, God is there. Wherever God is, we can find rest.

Selah: pause and calmly think of that!

The LORD replied, "My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest." – Exodus 33:14

OUCH! (Pruned to Blossom)

Pruning (transitive verb)

• To cut off or remove dead or living parts or branches of a plant, for example, to improve shape or growth.
• To rid, clear of, or remove anything superfluous or undesirable.

Pruning is a gardening process needed for a tree or a plant to grow in health and shape. This is a truth that is at times associated when a person growing in God experiences tests and difficulties.

Of course, plants don’t get hurt (do they?!). But in “real life”, when something is cut off or removed, there is always pain involved. The degree of pain can be proportionate to the extent by which the thing that is being removed has grown on a person.

But why do some things (which, more often, we find desirable, comforting or giving us happiness) need to be taken away from us? Similar to what happens when pruning is done, this process – no matter how painful it seems – causes GROWTH, BEAUTY, and FRUITFULNESS.

Growth. Every gardener knows that for a tree to grow, it will need some (sometimes serious) cutting of branches that are already dead. For our own good, God cuts away parts of our lives that drain us of energy we need to focus on Him and what He wants us to do. Are there things that take most of our time, resources and attention to the point that we already compromise what should belong to God? Surely, these things will soon go through some pruning. But God’s intention is not to hurt us or deprive us in any way. He wants us to grow…and grow we will!

Beauty. For a plant to remain in good shape, pruning is also done. This takes the form of trimming unnecessary leaves that make a tree look dull and lifeless. Are there aspects of our character that do not reflect God’s breath-taking beauty? It can be the way we manage our emotions, how we demonstrate patience, our attitude when conflict arises, or how we value our relationships. As a woman, one of my favorite encouragements from the Bible is to have that unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. God has been teaching me to be calm, trust and rely on Him completely and sit still as I rest in His unfailing love amidst confusions and difficulties. This takes some painful trimming of things that make me worry, restless and unsettled. And all because God wants me to bloom in beauty!

Fruitfulness. After a pruning process, a tree bears much fruit. According to the Iowa State University Reiman Gardens horticultural brochure, Pruning Grapevines, “The purpose of pruning is to obtain maximum yields of high quality grapes and to allow adequate vegetative growth for the following season.”  A painful experience can actually be the preparation we need for an upcoming season of fruitfulness. It should then make us excited! We are being pruned now so we can be fruitful soon!

Are you going through a tough, painful time right now? Be of good cheer! As you abide in God, the Master Gardener, and trust His process, you are on your way to blossoming growth, beauty and fruitfulness. Listen and obey when He asks you to let go of things that keep you from His purposes and your ultimate good. He knows and does what's best.

As we go through seasons of pruning, I pray for the grace and strength to fully yield to God’s work in us as He steadies our hearts for what He has secured for us - all in His good, pleasing and perfect will. The best is yet to come! :)

"But if you remain in Me and My words remain in you, you may ask for anything you want, and it will be granted! When you produce much fruit, you are My true disciples. This brings great glory to My Father." John 15:7-8, NLT